Dear Boy-Who-Called-Me-4-Eyes-in-3rd-grade,

Nuh uh!

That’s right. I said it. I am NO LONGER a 4 eyes.

Are you ready for the big reveal?

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…

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I’m not! Haha! My left eye is still a bit quite red and I haven’t worn eye makeup in weeks.

Vain? Maybe. Sneaky? Fo shizzle.

Anyhow, my eyes are feeling less dry each day. I have my post-op tomorrow, so stay tuned!

Oh, and don’t call people 4-eyes. Even if you are in elementary school and don’t know any better. It’s just mean.

Were you ever teased or embarrassed in school?

Well… I survived iLasik.

Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it?

I can see!

Things I learned about myself, my eyes, iLasik…

1. I have “man strength” eyelids. This means that my left eye will squeeze the pupil ring off prematurely, leaving a bruise on my eye.

2. Eye bruises are gross. Eye bruises result in one’s boss requiring one to wear big ‘ol sunglasses indoors, during each and every conversation. Anyone know where I can get an eye patch?

3. Big ‘ol sunglasses make me think I’m on the beach, even when I’m in my office.

4. No, they don’t.

5. iLasik BURNS for a few hours after. Painful, at the time. I’m thinking that the end result is and will be well worth the short term discomfort.

6. Mommies still bring soup to their babies when they’re sick. Even if the “baby” in question is 31 ahem 29  and the “sick” is an elective, minor surgery.

7. When sleep is aided with Valium, it actually isn’t as restful as you might think.

8. Waking up and seeing…immediately…without glasses… is an absolutely amazing feeling.

9. Almost-2-year-olds don’t realize that they need to be extra careful with mommy’s eyes, resulting in a near-miss fist to the cheek. Big ‘ol sunglasses are now getting their use at work AND at home.

10. It is HARD to stay away from the computer, TV, books and Words With Friends while eyeballs heal.

* I’m freakishly temped to post a picture of my eye bruise. But I won’t. Because I like my readers. All 3 of you.

For more learnin’, head over to Julie’s blog.

Um… anyone know how long it takes for an eye bruise to heal?

This is a pre-scheduled post.

With any luck, my iLasik surgery is over and went well. I’m recovering with the help of many, many eye drops and a little Valium. The kids are staying at my parent’s tonight (thanks mom and dad!!!) so that I can sleep my evening away.

Gotta tell you… I’m a little excited about the sleep. Doctor’s orders, you know!

God willing, my eyesight will be better and my recovery quick. My Saturday morning post-op will be great, and I’ll be driving there myself.

So, since I’m (hopefully, fingers crossed, good juju and grandma voodoo) probably sleeping soundly away, I thought I’d leave you with these lovely pictures. This is what Lilly does every night when she’s supposed to be sleeping.

Putting all of her babies to bed, of course!

I’ll be back with “real time” posts and iLasik updates soon!

I’d like to formally introduce you to the 7 dwarfs of eye drops.

On the right, there’s “Burny.” Who is sitting right next to “Slowly Stingy.” To his left we have “Lazy,” cuz he doesn’t seem to do much. Next, we have “Goopy,” who is only slightly overshadowed by “Blurry.”

Ok, that’s only five, but if you add the daily drop chart, “Nerdy,” and everyone’s friend, “Sleepy” (aka Valium), then we’re at 7.

Boom.

These guys are my best friends for the next couple of weeks.

PS These friends are not cheap dates. Just sayin’.

Did you know that eye drops go straight through to your throat? These suckers do not taste good. That’s right, this is an educational blog, people.

Surgery is tomorrow, and hopefully I’ll be back to blogging on Saturday. Wish me luck!

So, I’m getting Lasik on Friday.

Wait. No I’m not.

I’m getting iLASIK on Friday. That’s right. It’s Lasik, with a lowercase “i” in front of it. So, we love it, right?

Right.

I am SO excited about my iLasik, for countless reasons. In no particular order:

1. No more contacts. The time, the money, the hastle.

2. No more red eyes. Ok, I guess it’s possible that I’ll still get a little red eyed from time to time. Too much computer + too little sleep can do that. But, maybe my eyes won’t be red all day ever day.

3. Waking up in the morning and, you know, being able to SEE.

4. No more hands and knees, searching for my glasses on the floor in the the middle of the night because the obnoxious quirky cat decided to play with them all night.

5. Sunglasses. I’ve been wearing my glasses for over 2 weeks now, which means no sunglasses. You all KNOW how I love sunglasses, right?

*Bonus – the surgery includes Valium and doctor’s orders to sleep. Loving that!

One comment…

You know how you’re always supposed to read contracts and waivers completely before signing them? Um, I have news for you. That does NOT go for surgery waivers. I started reading that sucker and had to “lalala” my ears and cover my eyes.

Not sure why I had to “lalala” my ears. No one was reading it aloud. But it helped. Try it.

And I have approximately 27 drops to put in per day from not until about a week after the surgery. (Approximately means that 27 is actually too LOW of a number, but it works because of the movie 27 Dresses. Get it?)

Am I complaining? Absolutely not. I’m GIDDY with excitement.

Oh, and total mind numbing fear. But mostly excitement.

Has anyone out there had Lasik (or iLasik? RK?)? Or, any minor and exciting yet scary elective surgery?

Also, after the doctor’s ordered sleep, I’m supposed to take it easy with no TV, reading or computer. Since the children will be at my parent’s… what is there to do?!?